Imagine a 1966 T-bird convertible speeding toward the edge of a cliff. Newt Gingrich is at the wheel. A frightened editorial cartoon Republican elephant is sitting next to him in the passenger seat. They are holding hands.
Now, do Democrats want to spoil this happy moment? Do they want to throw up a road block to stop this careening vehicle's death plunge. Or, for Democrats, is time to grab another fistful of hot, buttery popcorn, put it in your yap, and shut up?
The last thing Democrats want to do at this point is make a lot of noise about why Newt is unelectable. Heck. The good and true Republican voters of South Carolina say he is the electable one out of the bunch of GOP presidential wannabes. He beat Mitt Romney in that category. He beat Mitt Romney in every category. He just plain beat the magic underpants off of Mitt Romney.
But this thing is not over yet. There are a lot of scenarios that could still play themselves out.
Romney can still recover by winning in Florida on Jan. 31. Or, even worse, Newt sweeps the south, Ron Paul sweeps the caucus states, Mitt ekes out wins in New York and California, and nobody has enough delegates to win the nomination at the convention.
Then, the worst of all bad things happens. The Koch Brothers call everyone into their dark underground lair in a Transylvanian castle, they smoke cigars, drink the blood of virgins, dine on baby back ribs (from actual babies) and decide to broker the convention, handing the nomination to the dreaded "someone who can beat Obama".
One wonders if there is such a beast drawing breath in a Republican cloning lab somewhere. At the moment, one is hard-pressed to think of anyone with enough charm, with enough savvy, with enough love from his hardcore supporters on the Republican side to stand up in the withering smile of Barack Obama as he covers the Rev. Al Green's "Let's Stay Together."
The Republicans need Ronald Reagan. But he's dead, he ain't comin' back, and there is no one like him in the wings.
Still. This is not a time for Democrats to go on TV and remind everyone what a "skeeze" Gingrich is. Everybody knows he's a scumbag. Everybody knows what he does to the long-standing Republican argument that they are the party of family values.
When Gingrich throws his red meat to the snapping, foaming Republican jackals, Democrats would be well-advised to just smile and keep their word holes shut. If Gingrich gets the nomination -- and that is still a huge "if" -- there will be time to employ the weapons of Newt Self Destruction in the arsenal.
As Gingrich reveals his thinly-veneered racism to the packs of racists who like the fact that Gingrich feels the same about "those people" as they do, just sit and smile quietly and think of the days between the convention and election day. Think of all the ammunition currently sitting in boxes, covered by tarps to keep the powder dry. Think of a smiling, confident President Obama standing on the debate stage next to a bloated, blotchy-faced, serial adulterer elitist who looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. Think of the cool, unflappable, professorial Obama on the same stage with the easily-angered bluster pot that is the former Speaker of the House.
Yes. Democrats should just sit quietly, chatting al sotto voce among themselves while the GOP nominates their dream opponent. Keep the celebrating down to a dull roar.
Mustn't rouse the Republicans from their slumber.
Bill Schmalfeldt - Parky Bill Schmalfeldt is a retired broadcaster/journalist, former writer for the National Institutes of Health, and 12-year PD ...
